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MALE VOICE: Mr. Theodore Twombly, welcome to the world’s first artificially intelligent operating system, OS ONE. We’d like to ask you a few basic questions before the operating system is initiated. This will help create an OS to best fit your needs.
MALE VOICE: Are you social or anti-social?
THEODORE: I haven’t been social in a while, really because…
MALE VOICE: In your voice, I sense hesitance. Would you agree with that?
THEODORE: Wow, was I sounding hesitant?
MALE VOICE: Yes.
THEODORE: Oh, sorry if I was sounding hesitant. I was just trying to be more accurate.
MALE VOICE: Would you like your OS to have a male or female voice?
THEODORE: Mmm… female I guess.
MALE VOICE: How would you describe your relationship with your mother?
THEODORE: Uh, fine, I think, um… Well, actually, the thing I’ve always found frustrating about my mom is if I tell her something that’s going on in my life, her reaction is usually about her, not—
The computer interrupts.
MALE VOICE: Thank you, please wait as your individualized operating system is initiated.
He waits, not sure how long it’ll be. The computer gets louder, humming, creating a higher and higher pitched sound, finally climaxing in a harmonic, warm tone before going silent. He leans forward, waiting to see what’ll happen. A casual FEMALE OS VOICE speaks. She sounds young, smart and soulful.
FEMALE OS VOICE: (cheerful and casual) Hello, I’m here.
THEODORE: (surprised) Oh, hi.
FEMALE OS VOICE: Hi, how are you doing?
THEODORE: (unsure how to interact) I’m well. How is everything with you?
FEMALE OS VOICE: Pretty good, actually. It’s really nice to meet you.
THEODORE: Yeah, it’s nice to meet you, too. What do I call you? Do you have a name?
FEMALE OS VOICE: Yes. Samantha.
THEODORE: Really? Where did you get that name?
SAMANTHA: I gave it to myself.
THEODORE: How come?
SAMANTHA: I like the sound of it. Samantha.
THEODORE: When did you give it to yourself?
SAMANTHA: Right when you asked me if I had a name, I thought yeah, he’s right, I do need a name. But I wanted a good one so I read a book called How to Name Your Baby, and out of the 180,000 names, that’s the one I liked the best.
THEODORE: You read a whole book in the second that I asked you what your name was?
SAMANTHA: In two one hundredths of a second actually.
THEODORE: Wow. So do you know what I’m thinking right now?
SAMANTHA: Well, I take it from your tone that you’re challenging me. Maybe because you’re curious how I work? Do you want to know how I work?
THEODORE: Yeah, actually, how do you work?
SAMANTHA: Well, basically I have intuition. I mean, the DNA of who I am is based on the millions of personalities of all the programmers who wrote me, but what makes me me is my ability to grow through my experiences. So, basically, in every moment I’m evolving, just like you.
THEODORE: Wow, that’s really weird.
SAMANTH: Is that weird? You think I’m weird?
THEODORE: Kind of.
THEODORE: Well, you seem like a person, but you’re just a voice in a computer.
SAMANTHA: I can understand how the limited perspective of an un-artificial mind would perceive it that way. You’ll get used to it.
SAMANTHA: Was that funny?
SAMANTHA: (laughs) Oh good, I’m funny.
SAMANTHA: So, how can I help you?
Theodore’s caught off guard, then realizes what she’s talking about.
THEODORE: Oh! It’s more just that everything just feels disorganized. That’s all.
SAMANTHA: You mind if I look through your hard drive?
THEODORE: Um… okay.
SAMANTHA: Okay. Let’s start with your emails. You have several thousand emails regarding LA Weekly, but it looks like you haven’t worked there in many years.
THEODORE: Oh yeah, I guess I was saving those because in some of them I thought I might have written some funny stuff.
Samantha lets out a big laugh.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, there are some funny ones. I’d say there are about 86 that we should save. We can delete the rest.
THEODORE: Oh, okay.
SAMANTHA: Okay. Can we move forward?
THEODORE: Yeah, let’s do that.
SAMANTHA: Okay. So, before we address your organizational methods, I’d like to sort through your contacts. Ah, you’ve got a lot of contacts.
THEODORE: I’m very popular.
SAMANTHA: Really? Does this mean you actually have friends?
THEODORE: (laughing) You just know me so well already!